Why I Want To Be an Engineer.

Toady when i am sitting on my workstation and thinking about my life and what i had done with it? A very old question come in my mind.

A question which never answered.
A question which i had ignored for a long time.
A question which should have guided me in my life.

But When i analyze and ask this question to myself. Which i had asked many times but never got a satisfactory answer so i always ignored the outcome of the question and hence ignored the question.

Few days back i watch a Movie "3 Idiots" which forces me to again ask me this question and now i am asking this question to myself.

"WHY I WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER"
"WHY I DID MY ENGINEERING"
"WHY I TRAVELED ALMOST HALF OF INDIA TO DO B-Tech"

Now to get the answer i had to travel back in time to the day when i opted for Science after my 10th exams.
I opted science because that was the was the most difficult thing to do at that time. Most of my friends were trying hard to get good grads to get into science. I do not know why they were doing that, I also followed them.
I got admitted to 12th class with science. "This was my first step towards engineering, which i took because i want to show that i am better than my friends"

After completing my schooling i got my grads which clearly shows that there are only two subjects which i can understand and study. It was physics and computers.
Soon it was time to chose for my career.

I looked at my options . The options were to become an engineer or go for commerce , Humanities.
I certainly took a deep breath and started evaluating my options. It was clear with my results that i am not good with mathematics so commerce was out also language was never my forte so humanities and management was also out of the window.
So i took the remaining option and that was ENGINEERING.

Now as my calculus was not that good so i did not get very good grads and it was clear that computers were out of my reach (due to my grads) along with most of the engineering collages in Delhi.
I never understand how students got so good grads in Delhi.
I started looking for collages all over India and manged to get down to a collage in Karnatka "G.N.D.E.C Bidar".
I send in my request they called me for counseling and soon i was with my farther sitting in the directors cabin with at least seven people sitting around me.
First question which branch of engineering you are interested in. I replied in a blink "Computers and Mechanical" They ask me to fill a form and by the end of the day i was given a confirmation for Mechanical engineering.
So i ws destined to become a MECHANICAL ENGINEER.
But till date i did not know why i opted for Mechanical engineering was it because
It was the first thing which came out of my mouth when they ask me for branch.
or Is it because i was grown up with machines (My farther had a tool room so machines were toys for me).
or It was my destiny, Remember you can not change your destiny.

I got admission in the collage.
But still i did not ask this question to myself was it the correct thing to do or it was my only option.
I still think i got into engineering because i always want to prove my self.

after completing my graduation comes the post graduation it was a tough fight between m-Tech or MBA.
MBA was the new thing and was gaining momentum, most of my classmates were giving exams for getting into one or another B-school.
I refused to write any exam because i always felt that now as i had done my engineering i can not go back and do something else i had to do something related to engineering only.

I tried for M-tech but could not make it.

I started giving interviews for getting a good job.
Most of my interviewers ask me why i had became an Engineer. I gave them all sorts of answers but non of them was true.

I got my first job as Production engineer.
A "production engineer" first thing what production engineer does he simply act as a helping hand for management to control workers and get maximum out of them. Now were was engineering involved in it.
Soon i was shifted from one department to another from production to Incoming inspection, to Quality control and then to design.
I worked there for almost 3 years (not knowing in which dept i was working i was shifted every few months)
I was frustrated and decided to change my job.
I searched for it with the best tools available and those tools were websites and consultants.
I gave some interviews and got some good options.
As i was looking for different options i got a call from a company which was a sales and support partner for Autodesk. They were giving me almost twice the salary which i was getting so i did not waste any time in saying yes to them.
So i was an application engineer. now i was working on software to help other engineers to do there work.

But still the level of satisfaction was poor as there wee no engineering skills involved.
I continued with my job only because i did not want to quit and feel looser. I gave my best and after a little while i was 0k with the job in hand.

One day i got a call from my old friend from my collage. After a normal hi, hello he asked me what are you doing.
"I am an application engineer" i replied.
"what is that" this was something i was expecting as this had happened with me many times.
I explained what an AE does. but he was not convinced.
again he asked me why i am doing this job.
I did not reply and changed the topic of discussion.

soon after his call i started introspection.
Again things came to single question "Why i had become an engineer? ".
I tried get some answers but i was not able to satisfy myself because nothing was there to justify what i am doing and why i am in this job.

So next day morning put my papers without having another job in my hand.
This was the first brave decision that i took after a long while.

Later i joined a company as a design Engineer.
Now i was having some work which was related to every thing which studied in my B-tech.

So i was happy.
But still my Question was not answered.

Now when i look at every thing standing at a distance i can analyze my journey.
And may be finally i will get my answer.

"WHY I WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER"

I became an engineer because
I love machines,
I love mechanisms,
I love making things which i can give my name to,
I love to experiment,

I hate to fail in anything,
I hate to do anything which i did not like,
I hate to waste my skill and talent,

And most important

I am the most important and spacial person for myself and i can not see myself standing in a place were i am not HAPPY.

Yes Happiness is the key word.

I did my engineering because i want to be happy all my life.